


shatter like glass (the shards draw more blood than the whole)

by izukillme



Category: Cosmere - Brandon Sanderson, Stormlight Archive - Brandon Sanderson
Genre: Book 03: Oathbringer, Book 03: Oathbringer Spoilers, Dark, F/M, M/M, Multi, Post-Book 03: Oathbringer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-27 15:47:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22199596
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/izukillme/pseuds/izukillme
Summary: Kaladin is the last to go.
Relationships: Kaladin/Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar & Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar & Jasnah Kholin, Shallan Davar/Adolin Kholin, Shallan Davar/Kaladin/Adolin Kholin
Comments: 23
Kudos: 20





	1. Shallan

Kaladin is the last to go.

First it was Renarin, who went to his death with more strength than Shallan had ever seen from him (from anyone, really), thrashing and spitting curses and promising revenge in his reincarnation. Next was Dalinar, ever the strong and silent type, eyes frozen sapphires as he accepted his fate with bowed head. Then it was Jasnah, cold violet gaze locked on Shallan and Adolin as they huddled together, pooling what warmth they could against the biting chill permeating the palace at Kholinar. Then Lift and the Assassin in White, who'd tried to fight... but they were no match for something as powerful as one of the Unmade. Shallan could've told them that.

Kaladin is Stormblessed. Kaladin is strength and protection. Kaladin is... Kaladin is...

Kaladin is their last hope.

Shallan watches mutely as he's pushed onto the black marble dais, refusing to speak as the parshmen - the _singers,_ she reminds herself forcefully - shove him powerfully forwards. To his credit, Kaladin does not go quietly: he stands there with a stormy expression, as immovable as the most powerful mountain. It takes nearly five singers to heave him towards the executioner in the centre of the dais.

Next to her, Adolin weeps, crystal-like tears sliding from his beautiful blue eyes. "Kal..." he pleads. "Please. _No. No._ Kal... _storm it_ , not Kal!"

He turns to her, eyes begging. Shallan simply shakes her head, keeping a stiff upper lip because it tears her heart to see Adolin cry.

"It's okay, princeling," Kaladin says, his own dark eyes - they haven't been blue with Stormlight since Shallan doesn't know how long, time slips past you in this place - shining wetly. "Guess I'll see you on the other side."

Adolin thrashes in his bonds. "Kal!" he screams desperately as the singers pin Kaladin down, securing his wrists to the block. " _KALADIN,_ **_NO_** _!_ Please, God, no, no, I can't lose you, Kaladin, Kal, _I love you_ , please..."

"I love you too, Adolin, Shallan," Kaladin whispers, a ragged breath. He markedly does not look in her direction, and a small part of Shallan wants to cry at the blatant message. The larger part silences it; tears lead to sadness and sadness to pain, and she has had enough of pain.

"Goodbye." 

Then the executioner's ax slices downwards and his head rolls. 

Adolin throws his head back and howls like a wounded wolf. _"_ ** _KALADIN!_** _"_

Shallan sits in her place, still and silent. One part of her heart rages, screams and cries for the death of one of her loves, just as Adolin does. The other part looks on from a higher plane, cool and unforgiving. 

_This is what you wanted. This is what had to happen._

With a deep breath, Shallan rises from the throne she sits upon and moves to Adolin's equally ornate, far larger chair, untying his bonds. Adolin crumples forward into her arms, and Shallan holds him as he cries. 

"Why?" he asks in a choked garble, but Shallan knows that it is not directed at her. It is directed at the forces Adolin cannot control, the forces that have reforged Shallan into what she is now. 

It's a better version. A stronger version. One that will not break, unlike the weak and diffident girl of old. This Shallan Davar knows her power, and she knows how to use it. And she knows what to use it for, too.

Adolin does not need to curse those forces that have changed Shallan so. They are giving her and him everything, after all. 

"Don't cry, love," Shallan whispers, wiping Adolin's tears. Adolin looks at her with unfocused red eyes, and she hugs him harder. "I promise it's all going to be okay."

"You promise?" Adolin's voice is small, like a frightened child. 

Shallan clings tighter. "I promise."

Adolin draws back, wiping his tears on his Kholin-blue sleeve and straightening up. He refuses to meet her gaze, though.

Shallan tilts his chin up gently with a finger, forcing his eyes to meet hers, and whispers, "I can give you everything, Adolin. Everything you deserve. All the power in the world." 

"I don't want all the power in the world," Adolin murmurs in a broken voice. "I want _you_ , Shallan." 

Her heart lifts at that, filling with joy. It had been worth it. Worth giving in to the voices that spoke to her, worth harnessing the strength that lay dormant inside of her. 

It had all been worth it, because after everything, she has power immeasurable. Power that will never leave her weak again. And because, after everything, Adolin still loves her. 

"I'll give you all of it, Adolin Kholin," she whispers against his lips. "You deserve nothing less."

And if there's a split second of stiffness before Adolin kisses back, Shallan is sure she was just imagining it. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow uh. Wild ride.  
> No, that last sentence is not what you're expecting it to be. The Adolin part will be published soon after!!!


	2. Adolin

Adolin Kholin is in shock.

What _happened_? What has Shallan _done_? How did she manage to not only leash the Fused and the singers to her will, but also kill Odium? _Why_ did she kill everyone? 

_What made her snap?_

When he asks her these questions, Shallan just blinks wide blue eyes and says, “They stood in the way of the power you deserve. So I took matters into my own hands.”

Adolin wants to cry when he hears it. (He doesn't.)

Instead he holds Shallan's hands and wonders where it all went wrong.

Adolin Kholin is broken.

His family is gone, his love is insane, and he is chained down, unable to fight. He hates himself for his inaction, but he isn’t a super-charged Radiant like the rest of them - he can barely hold his ground alongside them.

He wants to scream. (He doesn't.)

Instead he bites his lips and watches his family go to their deaths in still silence.

(Kaladin was the exception to that. But then again, Kaladin was _always_ the exception. Him and Shallan both.)

Adolin Kholin is bitter.

He wasn’t strong enough, wasn’t fast enough, wasn’t _good_ enough. Not when it counted. He was _never_ enough when it counted.

He wants to kill himself. (He doesn't.)

Instead he tosses his Shardblade into a musty corner, forcing himself not to think of a woman with scratched-out eyes that cannot cry the tears she wishes to as he walks away from it and into Shallan's arms.

But most of all, Adolin Kholin is afraid.

He is not afraid of punishment. He is not afraid of what has happened to Kholinar, to the princedom, to Alethkar, to the world, even. He is not afraid of the singers, nor of the Fused. Nor even of Odium, for the Shard is long gone, subdued under Shallan’s power.

No, Adolin Kholin is afraid of himself. 

Any rational man would be terrified if he were in Adolin’s position. Any rational man would run for the hills as he watches the love of his life snap in two like a rubber string stretched too tight, taking control of the darkest forces on the planet with ease. Any rational man would hate her for breaking his heart as he watches her take away everyone else he’s ever loved.

And Adolin almost does. He almost hates her when she kills Kal, he swears he _almost does_. Watching Kaladin’s head roll lifelessly onto the stone, spurting crimson blood everywhere, makes something _break_ inside of him, something he knows can never be fixed. He wants to hate her so desperately, but he _can’t_. 

That’s what he’s so afraid of - the intensity of their love. Shallan is his weakness, his one and only weakness now that Kaladin is gone too. In the face of loss, of starvation, of doom, of death, in the face of _anything_ , his love for Shallan will always win over it all.

Even over his own family.

The realisation, cold and heavy, brings his heart to a stuttering stop, and when Shallan presses a soft kiss to his lips Adolin hesitates for a single second.

_Is this right? Loving… loving this thing that Shallan has become?_

Adolin can’t hate her when she holds him, when she lets him cry into her shoulder, promising it will all be okay. He can’t hate her when he looks into her eyes, her blue eyes that are guileless and loving as she gazes at him.

All this while, looking on as she murdered his family, it was like looking at a different person, someone who is so emphatically not Shallan. But now, Adolin realises with a sudden, sharp clarity that _she is Shallan_.

She hasn’t ‘become’ anything new, not anything that she wasn’t before. She has never changed - not towards him, at any rate. To Adolin, she will always be the same Shallan who loves him with the entire capacity of her heart. 

And to her, however much he may hate himself for it, he will always be the same Adolin who loves her with the entire capacity of his soul. 

So with one deep breath, Adolin allows the love to win against the pain and the fear raging inside of him and kisses Shallan back, his heart warming even in the bitter cold. He cups her neck in his hands and kisses her for everything he is worth, giving her every last part of himself like he’s always done. Like nothing has changed.

And in a way, nothing has.

 _I’m sorry_ , he thinks, his dead family’s image in his mind. _But… I love her too much._

He ignores the voice in his mind, sounding suspiciously familiar, that warns, _That same love will destroy you,_ and holds Shallan in a tight embrace, pretending that he doesn’t feel the sticky red wetness of her hands.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed it please leave a comment :3


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